Salad with a Spoon

The mini-rebellion - a mild form of office deception intended to undermine authority, and make you feel better about some little irritation. The trouble is that the mini-rebellion is a little irritation all its own. Take for example the Fork Fiasco in my office. We use metal utensils in my office because we are graced with a kitchenette, complete with a dishwasher. The trouble though, is that in the last few months, every fork has somehow walked out the door. Now, this seems a little ridiculous, but think about trying to eat a salad with a spoon... It is a small enough problem not to cause a real stir in the office, but annoying enough to irk a few people: mini-rebellion.

Whomever decided to steal all of the forks did so slowly and stealthily so as to avoid exposure. Part of me wonders if it is a conspiracy aimed at trying to get us all to use our hands to eat, or if the offender is merely trying to prove a point (we have a little issue with said dishwasher). Nevertheless, we are fork-free at the moment, scrounging for plastic utensils and even using chopsticks at times.

I am not condoning this behavior, but I have known the mini-rebellion to be employed in times of distress. When the day-to-day irritations are addressed continually without resolution, often we are left with no where to turn. The issues are so small that they should not go to management or HR, but they are consistent enough to disrupt our workflow. With no recourse, often the tendency is to rebel. No one wants to jeopardize his or her position or reputation, so the rebellions are little and usually equally annoying to the original conflict.

I have to say that rebelling in any way is probably a bad idea, but a little workplace deception makes the day spicy. Just please, take a second to think of the consequences before you devise your plan - we're eating with spoons and chopsticks for pete's sake!

Leave a comment and share a mini-rebellion from your past - I'd love to hear your fork stories!

| Photo credit: Zazzle |

Sandbox Rule #1: Mind Your Manners

I recently worked on a project for which I needed to compile information from a number of different sources.  This information is not easily rendered, so I chose to employ my weapons of charm and politeness, and it got me thinking.  All of my "pleases" and "thank yous" seemed redundant and time-consuming, however I am happy to say that I received more information in the last few days than we have in months.  I can only imagine that taking time to be polite actually paid off.

One of the first things that we learn about interacting with our peers is to mind our manners.  I am even teaching my 14-month-old how to make a noise when I hand her something (I interpret the little grunt as her way of saying "thank you" - awww).  We can improve our relationships so much if we respect and recognize the fundamentals of communication that we learned as youngsters.

Please.  "Please" is a way to express that you respect the time and effort it takes for someone to help you.  It softens the directive, and implies that you are asking for help rather than demanding it.

Thank you.  To say "thank you" at the start is to advance your gratitude, which will help your recipient feel appreciated before she even begins.  I am more likely to work with you if you recognize that my help is valuable.  Even more powerful is "thank you" after the task is complete.  It is so wonderful to have worked on a project with someone, and hear those words after all is said and done.  Just pausing to show your gratitude after the fact illustrates that you have taken the time to reflect on the partnership, and you appreciate the collaborative effort.

When you slow down enough to use your manners, it is amazing what you can accomplish.  Your approach is softer, your request is more reasonable, and you are appreciative for the input.  What better way to work together?  I challenge you to read through your emails and add your magic words before you hit send - you may be surprised at the positive tone of the response, and you are already building better relationships (think: future favors).

They don't call 'em "magic words" for nothin'!

Powerful, Practical Positivity

It always amazes me how powerful optimism can be.  When you spin your words positively, your outlook changes and you tend to think in the affirmative rather than the negative.  Your positive attitude transfers to your co-workers or your family and friends, who then begin to think positively about their own situations.  Contagious and addictive, optimism is a powerful tool.  The trick is to change your outlook at the start.

If you listen to the words that come out of your mouth, you may find that even "non-complaints" take on a negative tone.  Often the tone itself makes the comment sound like a complaint, even if you are stating mere fact.  Here is an example:

"My meat is overcooked.  I asked for it rare, but it doesn't even have a tint of pink in the center."

If you use the same sentiment, but take a positive spin on the words themselves, you wind up with:

"I believe that I asked for my meat cooked rare, and it looks overcooked."

Instead of focusing attention on what you did not receive, you turn your audience's attention to the straight facts: the original request and the result.  The first example can be construed as a complaint, while the second can be interpreted as a statement.

Listen to your co-workers and friends.  Do you hear the difference between a true complaint and a comment posed in a critical way?  When someone complains constantly, you tend to tune them out, or absorb some of their negativity.  Like positivity, negativity is also contagious, and it spreads rampantly.  When one person in the office complains about how stressed she is, she wears her stress out on her sleeve.  Others in the office will see that, feel the pressure themselves, and so they will adopt a stressed mentality as well.  If, however the stressor is actually energized by her workload, using Adrenaline to her advantage, her energy will transfer to the office, and others will begin to bounce around their workloads as well.

Karl Staib of Work Happy Now explains his experience in his blog series, "No Complaining."  Karl referenced the site A Complaint Free World, and for 30 days, he listened to his words, used positives instead of negatives, and refrained from co-complaining with others for the sake of empathy.  In his final post, Karl explains that his mindset has changed for the better, and he has seen a change in how others regard him.

A happy office is a productive office, so it pays to take an extra moment to spin your words toward optimism.  If you keep an eye on it, you will see a change in your overall mood in the office.

| Photo credit: Have-A-Nice-Day.org |