Are You Even Listening?

"It seemed rather incongruous that in a society of super-sophisticated communication, we often suffer from a shortage of listeners."

-Erma Bombeck (1971)

Our methods of communication have evolved so much since 1971, and still we see the same one-sidedness.  Clear and effective communication is a dialogue, in which one person always plays the part of the listener.  You can be very explicit with your words, but unless your audience is truly listening, you will have trouble getting your point across. 

You can encourage strong listeners in your team if you yourself take the time to listen.  If you are a patient listener during a conversation, ask questions and consider your response, you will receive the same respect in return.  Listening really is about respect; you are giving your full attention to another person, demonstrating that their commentary is the most important thing at that moment.  Your attention to them will reinforce your relationship, and it will allow you to examine the subject thoroughly.

In One Ear, Out the Other
I have found myself in situations where the person to whom I am speaking is constantly distracted and unengaged in the conversation.  I wind up repeating myself, recapping the conversation in an email, and needing to send reminders about the actionable items that we agreed upon.  The view from my side is frustrating, and I cannot imagine that the other person deems my ideas valuable.

I would much prefer to have a reciprocal discussion, and leave with full comprehension of my role and my next steps.  In this case, neither of us would need further management to fulfill our obligations, and our productivity would benefit from our ability to take responsibility and work independently. 

You can affect your position and your relationships in the same way, immediately.  Open your ears to another speaker, and increase your understanding.  You may find that their ideas help you and your situation more than you had anticipated.

| Photo credit: CD Baby |